Inevitably I answer. "Great…."
The person hesitates... "No really – how are you really doing?"
The conversation has deepened. No more niceties will suffice – the person really wants to know.
I realize that the person is aware that the trial dates are looming. The Supreme Court of Canada ordered a retrial almost two years ago now – and so we are slowly and steadily moving towards it come this January 2017. Unless of course something changes - and there is always that possibility.
So we know there is an impending collision of agendas – and we will yield – as we always have. We will attend the trial because it is based on our daughter's life. We have to be there for her. At the first trial we were all able to be there, now things have changed. Some have new responsibilities so as a family we have decided that each one will participate in it as much as we are able.
But that is all in the future.
Today is what counts.
I am "great" today. Right now – we are completely and wonderfully immersed in our lives. This morning we were up early to cheer our two little grandchildren in their first 1 km Kids' Fun Race.
Simeon ran confidently – wind in his hair - easily towards the finish line. He is three. He was one of the first.
Anna – who is only one -years- old - was half way to the finish line when she fell onto the grass. She got up – slowly -- her butt high in the air -- as we all held our breaths. Then she smiled at us – and ran to the finish line – lightly and happily. They both got medals.
Through this all, I noticed another enthusiastic father cheer his son over the finish line as well. He looked vaguely familiar. It was someone I had met in prison. We swapped stories. He is doing well…. I can tell. He is steadily working towards freedom land.
The past and present merge. I am aware how we are all challenged – we fall - we get up - and if we keep trying we will make it to the finish line… and that’s what is important.
It's not going to be perfect. I know that. But right now it is great!
“If we are always pushing away from feelings that we condemn as wrong, painful, or ugly, we are also pushing away from the very energy that can bring us incredible joy and ecstasy.” Shaeri Richards