Feeling imprisoned by the conversation buzzing around me, feeling that I was losing my voice, feeling defensive, and wanting to remain proactive - I began to blog...
Because of my work in restorative justice, I had to face the one question - "Would you meet with him?" that the movement was being based on.
That's how I started the blog.
I never really answered that question in the blogs. Mostly I was just signalling that I am okay -- and turning every situation in my life into a positive.
Behind the scenes - I was struggling. We were doing well -- handling it all remarkably because of good friends and others supports -- but there was stuff. Iit had to do with exactly what Odia and I had feared.
We had to rethink lifestyle forgiveness vs relational forgiveness. We really had to understand relational forgiveness in a new way. I started to ponder....it.
First encounter with the offender, I discovered that there are two real issues in relational forgiveness - "love" and the problem of "good and evil"
I understood love -- unconditional love.
What I didn't understand was "evil."
I started to study - evil.
I went into the bowels of prison - and found the most evil man I could access. He had committed something even more heinous than the murderer in our case..
I bought books on evil.
I explored evil with friends of mine who were into "deliverance" the casting out of demons,
I interrogated another friend who was taking "evil" in a theological course.
I studied evil through my own commentaries.
I paid attention to the evil in me ....in a new way.
It was another kind of abyss. This time it seemed more real than ever.
It was a very dark time.
“Man is the cruelest animal.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche