Wilma Derksen - Dispelling

Darn Good - 18

7/2/2020

Lovely Moe!

Another Review:
Sorry for the last minute response. I just returned from Gimli
The book, oh my goodness, the book.
I tried hard to read it as a Beta reader, but I think I failed. I wanted to read it clinically with a critical eye but........
The "problem" for me was that your writing is so darn good,
I could visualize it all as it transpired.
I just stepped into the story and became a part of it. I was at your kitchen table with you and Cliff when "the stranger" arrived at your door at 10:00 the evening Candice's body was found. I was a silent witness/guest at your breakfast meetings with Rene`.
I was there in the room at the first Justice program meeting and felt the grief and the rage. I could see and feel the clouds and the change in the atmosphere.
I tried to be objective and analytic as I was reading but kept getting swept up in the whole unfolding.
My question is "what does forgiveness feel like?
  I have learned that I do not have to allow the darkness/fear/grief/rage/oppression swallow me. That there is power and victory in forgiveness.
That forgiveness is not necessarily a "meek or weak" response to injustice but that forgiveness can be strong and bold and loud, a battle cry.
  I would without reservation recommend this book to a friend or a foe
  *Put on the kettle, send all your calls to voicemail, get comfy because once you start this book you won't want to put it down.
Thank you Wilma, I appreciate being a part of this even though I suck at being a Beta reader.
I will shred the draft copy immediately, even though it may cause me pain to do so.
  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” - Martin Luther King. JR.

Dinner - 16

6/29/2020

Eileen Henderson

Another Review

Thank you so much for the privilege of reading Dispelling the Clouds.
What a wonderful gift you have so generously offered and continue to offer us who have been involved in the restorative justice community. Your willingness to both live with and articulate the hard questions of addressing and responding to the needs of those who have been impacted by crime and those who have been the instigators of crime has certainly propelled me in the work that I have engaged in , to ask different questions. You have been a role model and an inspiration.
It does not seem that long ago, now nearly a year, since you and Rene and Randy and I had dinner together in Winnipeg. The opportunity to sit with both you and Rene and later to see Candace House in person, were very much in my mind as I read through the book.
As always, all of my encounters with you either in person or via written word have been life changing.
Wilma. I am looking forward to being able to share Dispelling The Clouds once it is in print for the public!

“There are times when wisdom cannot be found in the chambers of parliament or the halls of academia but at the unpretentious setting of the kitchen table.” - E.A Bucchianeri

White Banners - 15

6/28/2020

Non-combative

Another Review: comes from a mother's heart.

I really enjoyed the book. .... What a journey!
The one thing that really impacted me was when you talked about reading the book, White Banners.
   In fact I can’t get it out of my mind. It was life changing for you and you made the decision that you would be a Hannah. It made you a believer in forgiveness and a non combative lifestyle. You made that decision as a young woman and its a part of who you were.
Because of that, when you saw the presence on the bed, you chose forgiveness. Your story may have ended quite differently if you hadn’t forgiven. You had a platform to share your story and see other people healed and restored because if it. Your dream of Candace house also came to fruition.
What a legacy to leave for your children and grandchildren!
Your choice to forgive also honored Candace's life. A life that was full of love
and forgiveness.

In a later email, she wrote,
   I would definitely recommend your book to family and friends. In fact I’m praying some of my family will read it when it comes out.


None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith. - Paulo Coelho

Nomads - 14

6/27/2020

Dennis

Another Review
Thank you for the opportunity to review Dispelling the Clouds. Your storytelling is captivating and draws the reader into the place and time of the event being shared. At times I could "see" the surroundings, eg. the fish tanks as well as their contents in the lifer's lounge.
When I started the book and saw that forgiveness would be a focus my first response was Oh no! I have seen forgiveness being a requirement of participating in restorative justice processes. The participant, regardless of their role in the situation, must first have their "come to Jesus" moment before they can continue. Too often the emphasis is on a religious conversion/experience rather than supporting someone in healing from the harm they were caught in or perpetrated.
As I continued through the book, I was relieved that you described the complexity and messiness of forgiveness, including the need for all of us to continually struggle with the spaces in which we need to forgive.
Sometimes (often) it is ourselves that require the most forgiveness. As a part of the RJ process it is often an unexpected outcome and I believe should not be an expectation of the experience. Bringing in the interpretation of adaptation was helpful in clarifying and not minimizing forgiveness.
You present the struggle that RJ has with supporting both the people harmed and those who perpetrated the harm. I believe this comes out of poor practice/design as well as the idea of neutrality which was part of early training in the field. Too often RJ practices have taken a "politically correct" approach and therefore erred on the side of those who did the harm. This is neither helpful nor a concept within RJ as I understand it. In fact I see it as abusive. RJ is to help people find healing from harm and not cause more harm. When RJ follows the principles and creates a mutually supportive process, the healing and connections you described in some of your experiences comes to fruition. Too often the system both RJ and regular justice systems emphasizes one side or the other (mostly those who perpetrated the harm).
My favorite line in the book captures this very well, "Victims are nomads in their own lives".
The book is incredibly valuable. I think it adds to the conversation about the one-sidedness of the criminal justice system which excludes "victims" from the process thus causing more harm. It provides new insights into the challenges of RJ and the need to have the process "victim focused/driven". This emphasis is necessary to allow healing to happen for both those who were harmed and those causing harm.
Including real people and your combined experiences with them adds strength and reality. Naming these people would add more for me and I realize confidentiality is critical. It is your story and I respect your ability to protect others who may have been involved and who do not want to be named.
Thank you again for the opportunity to read a very rich description of your experience. I look forward to seeing the final edition. Your voice is an important perspective in the messiness of life.

“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”
- Dr. Seuss

Heart Path - 13

6/26/2020

Connie

Another review!
"There are certain books that, having experienced them, change the way I think and live. When I first heard the horrific news of Candace’s disappearance my soul question was, “What happened?” I wanted to know the details of what took place. (I learned that in your earlier book.) As the years passed and I watched you find a way, to not only survive the horror, but to thrive, my questions changed. I wanted to know, “How does one survive such horror, loss and injustice and thrive?” How do you process it all?
  It is this book that lays out that heart path in riveting, raw, honest detail. Like the homicide survivor group, I too found myself repulsed by the thought of turning to offer the offenders a conversation when my soul screamed for justice laced revenge. Yet I was riveted by each courageous conversation you had with offenders because you brought your own heart.
As I watched you courageously engage in soul to human soul conversations you gave me an invitation—a new way of thinking—another way to live. You showed me that in my own life I do not just have one way of thinking when I am wronged…to stew and fester until I get justice. There are more paths than dark soul anger that consumes. I am invited to live out my own experiment, to thrive.
  I would recommend this book to every person I meet for I see we all encounter injustice. For some of us it is the person we live with who does not clean the kitchen, (a metaphor for all the small daily injustices I encounter) yet I see now how processing our daily “injustices” teaches us the heart path to overcome and thrive the darker moments. Your family practiced these ways before you were confronted with horrific injustice.
Although I already believed in the path of forgiveness in theory, your story urges me to live it with abandon. What if I lived my life as an experiment to use each injustice to live my life better instead of being drawn into the dark side of injustice by moving from speaking up to paying back to self-serving revenge and destruction.
I want you to know Wilma that I read an article decades ago in a magazine about you visiting a prison and it was the part of your story I was most interested in knowing more about. This book is exactly that heart story. I also want you to know your story—your heart path really has changed the direction of my life. For me, it saved me from becoming a retaliating difficult person to live with.
My injustice, as I look back, really was about others not cleaning the kitchen (and a hundred other now seemingly irrelevant details) but my heart was going down a wrong path and the dark cloud/the dark dog was snarling. I was teaching about forgiveness through your story when I came to see my own dangerous heart path. I was destroying myself and my family. Since then I have come to try to live the path of letting go. It has saved my life as I have a beautiful family life now.
In another way this book builds suspense like a detective novel. We can see hints and clues to the mystery; how can one survive a horror and truly go on to live? What is the “solution for my cloud situation?” Wilma asks and we hang on over word. If this story were fiction we would not know if it could be true. We have all felt a dark cloud of one kind or another creeping up to destroy us, so this time the mystery is somehow our own and thus it draws us in like no other.

Questions I have in myself:
What is it I do in the moment to dispel the clouds or feed the snarling dog? Is it what I focus on in my thoughts? Is it believing there is no other way to proceed and evil will destroy all I hold dear? Is it refusing to view the other person as is a human soul? Is it refusing to take down my guard for a moment to see their humanity? Is it losing the hope of redemption?

Lines I love;
“The impact of murder is more deadly than the murder itself.” (p.19)
“How can you come to a place of justice satisfaction when someone so dear to you—irreplaceable-has been taken violently from you, and there is no justice? If the killer continues to live—every breath they take becomes an insult to the life they’ve taken.” (p. 24)

Other thoughts:
Fascinating reading-this book grapples with the theory of justice in riveting story form—adding faces and personal details and intimate human heart reactions to something that cannot be understood as head knowledge theory alone.

Lessons I learned:
Our society has lost sight of the complexity of evil. In our polarized views we are good, and “they” are bad. Very few of us are brave enough to walk over to the other side and sit down to really listen and vulnerably risk our hearts in order to have our simplistic views shattered. It is only in this act that we are ready to live our story of transformation.
This is a book expressing justice theories in fascinating heart lived factual detail. One does not even realize that the real-life story is about to draw you into constructing your own justice theory as you react to horrific injustice, its aftermath and programs designed to bring justice. What is justice and from where do we get it?
After reading chapter 10; When one hears of horrific tragedy happening to a person you ask in stark horror—what happened? How did it happen? How could it happen? Could it happen to me? But really what we are asking is, “If it happened to me, could I survive? Or even, how could I ever survive? Fiction offers us the imaginary version. On rare occasions someone who does survive, and thrive, offers us the priceless treasure—an engaging, fascinating, well-crafted answer to our heart’s deepest questions.
   This book is that journey in true story form. If I am emotionally brave enough for the journey-- I, too, might find a way to thrive in my daily struggle to survive.
I loved the group discussion rule: “we…cannot interpret someone else’s story for them.” Yet somehow, ironically, the group would not let you interpret your story through the lens of forgiveness. It was not tolerated. (p. 37)
  “When I went back to our group, I noticed that every time we shared our stories, we rarely talked about our children. We were instead obsessed with the murdered.” (p. 41). This is what happens to me when I become obsessed about someone not cleaning the kitchen (a metaphor for all the small daily injustices I encounter) when I lose sight of being grateful for all the gift in my life.
  “There is never a justification for murder nor is there to forever withholding forgiveness and healing.” (p. 48) This statement by an offender is the crux of the theory…I love it and I hate that it is said by an offender. It is so true and yet I rail when it is said by a murderer. It is the statement that makes me wrestle with myself on my own dark edge of my cloud. (It is riveting to hear you tell the story of reading this letter and each of you having to pass it on, in horror—it is a moment I so follow you in my heart.)
“Forgiveness is something that makes you feel better. It really has little to do with the other person at all. It allows you to get on with life.” (p.54) I think this is the key difference in changing people’s opinions on forgiveness—yet in some ways it is an oxymoron because it does make the offender feel better too and to do so seems unjust.
“Face it—that’s why we are all in here. It’s because we can’t forgive.” (p.59) …almost as an ominous warning to the rest of us!
By chapter 9 I was beginning to understand that forgiveness has a first step, which is giving up on the notion that I am good and the offender is evil. “The movement was creating cracks in the wall.” (p. 65). As I begin to see my own dark cloud I see that I, too, have evil lurking in me just as the offender is not defined by evil he/she has done. It was my favorite chapter for other reasons.
  The rawness of your thoughts of injustice (classroom vs gym); it makes me want to hate Durocher but I was already drawn to him in the opening chapter--- your writing beautifully captured the ambivalence of trying to find the heart path of letting go in moments when your heart is screaming…no! It is the rawness of this heart path that makes it real. I think the problem with forgiveness is one’s inability to capture and communicate all the nuances of its complexity. It cannot be explained in a definition. It requires a life story to describe its complications. You bravely offer yours.
“…forgiveness doesn’t need to be defined, it just needs to be lived and felt.” (p. 189)
“Forgiveness has a power.”…of its own. (p.197) “A love that outshines justice” (p. 217)
“It is the secret renunciation, the giving-up, the letting go, the sacrifice that nobody understands but the person who does it—that generates inside of you a peculiar power to…” (Hannah in White Banners p. 225).
I loved the contrast of Durocher’s parents and yours— vastly different environments and hence ways of operating in the world and yet the two worlds meet over breakfast. (p. 77)
Why is forgiveness so hard? “It was one thing to deal with my own inner trauma and demons; it was another thing to deal with the haunting presence of the murderer.” (p. 90) This is why the journey is so hard! It is their trauma on top of my own when I am already at my capacity. How do I grow my capacity to love?
“It was interesting that some black clouds dominated their owner; some owners dominated their black cloud.” (p. 101) Wow!! One of the most profound statements of the book. How do I dominate my black cloud and in what actions am I allowing it to dominate me??
“Story accesses our emotions, and therefore is important to decision-making. It creates meaning out of experiences. It gives a sense of belonging. It engenders empathy and sympathy across differences. It surpasses our rational minds and allows us to dream. When it comes to change, story is foundational.” “…completing the story, having the story validated and then recreating the story—entering into it to changes the course of the story. (p. 115) Such a profound quote! Somehow this is the clue I needed to see redemption. The forgiveness is worth it because of redemption. When I can give up my sad story—I can let go of demanding justice—the miracle happens, and my story is formed in new ways to bring something more than I could have managed. When I am stuck in the sad story, I can only perpetuate that ending. Wow! Thank you for this clarity.
  “I believe for there to be true reconciliation the story of redemption needs to equal the story of the crime. Whether we want to admit it or not, the moral code written on our hearts is a life for a life.” (p. 168)."

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” - Rumi

Inspiring - 12

6/25/2020

Orator - Pierre Allard

Another review -- from someone who has always inspired me and who, as a great orator, played a critical part in my journey. I dared to send him a draft of the manuscript, and this is what he wrote back.

*****
Thank you for taking us on your life personal journey. What a ride!
From the time I first met you at Mount Allison University, I admire your honesty, courage, your 'way with words' and your willingness to explore new avenues. I found all these qualities as I traveled with you through the pages of Dispelling the Clouds...And dispelling many you did...
You make a compelling case for 'forgiveness' in all its complexity and you are absolutely right...It is the path to life and to many miracles as you say.
Since 2007, Judy and I have seen many of these miracles in the over 350 encounters held in post-genocide Rwanda between the survivors of the genocide and the genocide perpetrators.
Thank you for sharing your story with us... As in all your previous writings, you help us hold our lantern higher in a most complicated world.
Blessings on you, Cliff, your family and on Dispelling the Clouds.
A friend,
Pierre Allard

“The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Justice that Transforms- 11

6/24/2020

Thank you Wayne!

Book Review of Dispelling The Clouds
When Wilma asked that I be a pre-publication reader of her new book, I felt honoured. When I sent her a quick email upon completion of reading it (at 2:00 a.m.!), I ended with a single word: Wow!
To unpack: Wilma is a captivating storyteller. Not only is she great at this craft, she uses an economy of words that invariably are apt and keep the story crisply moving. Though one is often compelled to pause and linger. She is also a gifted writer who engages her readership as if you are listening to her in a small circle of intimate friends.
She has honed her writing craft over many years and books, not to mention a long career as a journalist. In many ways her writing matches her proficiency at presenting to a wide array of those impacted by crime, an equally practised oral skill set over decades before many audiences. “Those impacted” are easily categorized as: “those harmed by crime”—preferable to “victims” in pointedly putting the entire onus on the perpetrator; “those who harmed others”—preferable to “offenders” since in our multivariate humanity we are never reducible to a singular act or label; and “wider community” immediately impacted by crime—and by extension all society.
In our last visit I was delighted to hear that celebrated author Malcolm Gladwell had returned to Christian faith due in part to his researching her story for his book: David and Goliath. This highlights Wilma’s utter authenticity. My first encountering Wilma three decades ago was in that way uncomfortably challenging: how can an offender-oriented prison worker really get it about serious and lethal harm done to a family member? And how can a Restorative Justice worker really get it that forgiveness is the F-word when initiated not invited. Short answers: He can’t! But one can listen, and hopefully work at learning to change . . .
Wilma’s first book about her daughter’s murder was: Have You Seen Candace? The subtitle was arresting: A True Story of Faith and Forgiveness. There was that F-word right out there! In that book and again in this, the reader will learn how she and her husband Cliff took on the mantle of that excruciating, elusive affirmation: I am going to forgive/I have forgiven. Wow!--for many the reaction in first hearing her story; the reaction ever since by so many—and me. Wow!
Well, except initially and at other times for the exclusive community she and family were brutally thrust into: those who had lost a family member to murder. Wilma’s referencing repeatedly this group is invariably and artfully empathetic.
In this book, Wilma writes: “I was living an experiment.
“Consciously or unconsciously, it was just an experiment…motivated by desperation.”
So the reader is drawn to wade in . . . to the uncertain waters of a life course with a chosen lode star named forgiveness. But what does it mean? And how navigated?
Well, the reader follows Wilma with her family guided by that at times barely twinkling celestial orb. The reader is in for a ride; once heartily having climbed on board. We are in turn directed by those guided by the lode star forgiveness. A journey, a star—at our great peril possibly—not to be missed! Else in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s words, we might bitterly too late discover there is no future--for you, for me, for everyone!—without forgiveness.
The chapter titles of this two-part voyage are likewise sparse: often one, no more than two words. They invite and entice . . . one to perhaps like me stay up to all hours to experience somewhat--at least try!—the expedition! For Wilma offers something emotionally palpable, that if allowed, journeys us along towards an uncertain, complicated, unknowing but deeply rewarding destination. She in fact directs us towards home.
Along this journey one finds multiple pearls of wisdom forged like in the oyster, through great trauma and hardship. They are freely accessible however again and again. The reader will doubtless select a necklace of wisdom gems different from mine: multiply offered, arrestingly impactful.
Wilma also sustains use of metaphors throughout: shapeshifting monsters; stormy clouds (whence the title); “entirely different” life path chosen from many murdered children’s family.
As in all Wilma’s books and presentations read and heard, Wilma’s faith is persistent backdrop that infuses the journey. But for those without faith, it is not presumptuous nor imposed.
Evoking Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”, her closing words are (italics added):
I guess the question now is: Could Cliff and I have been as fulfilled and creative at the end of our lives—where we find ourselves now—if we hadn’t forgiven?
I don’t think so. At the bedroom door, when we saw that dark, frightening presence on our bed—we chose the word forgiveness.
And I do believe it has made all the difference.
In conclusion: “It was just an experiment…” Wow!

*****

You and your family have done what Bruce Cockburn's "Lovers in a Dangerous Time" envisioned: gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight!

Thank you Wayne

Wayne's bio
In fall 2018 I began publishing a multivolume series Justice That Transforms, a collection of writings over many years on Restorative Justice. There were three Volumes (so far) in 2018. Wipf and Stock Publishers gratefully re-published (a re-edited version of) Volume One January 9, 2020. The cover is an amazing work of art! I will then hopefully do a series of my general peace and justice writings, entitled Justice the Harvest of Peace.
In many cultures it takes a real man to not act like "a real man" according to those cultures.--WN
Christian faith offers the grand privilege of sidestepping one's grasping Ego in favour of a True Self.—WN.
Why harm people who harm people to teach people that harming people is wrong?--WN (adapted)
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.—John Kenneth Galbraith
Altering our ways of social being carelessly in the name of some [liberal] ideological shibboleth… is likely to produce far more trouble than good.—Jordan Peterson
Jesus and his destiny are, symbolically speaking, the lens through which the rays of all history since the creation of the world are focused and projected into the future.—Hans Schwarz
Finally: please visit waynenorthey.com dedicated to:
The Gospel as Counter-Narrative to Empire.

Journey - 10

6/23/2020

Story is foundational

Another review:
I received the draft of “Dispelling the Clouds” on June 1st & started reading it that night. I read a little bit of it every day over the next 12 days, finishing on the 13th. I wanted to stay in the flow of your thoughts while taking enough time to digest the full contents of the book.
First; thank you for sending me the draft & allowing me to pre-read this valuable book. It was a joy to read, & one I found to be very insightful & thought provoking.....
I found the timing of the book to be very interesting. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic on a scale the world has never seen. Then, if that wasn’t enough for everyone to cope & deal with there has been the resurgence of “Black Lives Matter.” A very needed & also timely arising. “Dispelling the Clouds” comes in the middle of these global crisis with a message of equal proportions. Almost every person, from every walk of life, in every nation on the earth is being forced to grapple with realities that have been there for generations, but never fully dealt with. It reminds me of a favorite passage of mine in Acts 17: 26, 27 “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their pre-appointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us”. It seems to me that part of life’s journey. ....
The journey we each walk is rarely the one we would have chosen but one sometimes thrust upon us. This journey, our story, involves & includes the process of allowing our lives to be transformed by the journey itself, even as we are used to help challenge, shape & transform the lives of those we get to touch along the way.
There are so many things I could comment on in the book,... I underlined as I read. The first is found on page 46. “Crime is about broken relationships”. Wow! This is so true. I believe this could be said of every breakdown in society. It’s always a relational issue. We were created to live in solidarity. When we step or move away from that there is sure to be a fall-out. Your journey of helping bring justice to both victims & perpetrators is nothing less than inspiring. That you would even attempt to bring these two sides together is beyond commendable....
Another re found on page 115. “Story accesses our emotions, and therefore is important to decision-making. It creates meaning out of experiences. It gives a sense of belonging. It engenders empathy and sympathy across differences. It surpasses our rational minds and allows us to dream. When it comes to change, story is foundational”.
Every one of us don’t just have a story, we are a story. This book, “Dispelling the Clouds”, is not just your story. It is you. It is your journey and the multitudes of people you have had the privilege to touch. You did this while you vulnerably walked out your own pain & trauma. ...

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.” - Walt Whitman

Important Role - 9

6/22/2020

Leads to Improvement

Another review.
I value all reviews - all words.
However there are some reviews from people within my story that I treasure for not only what they say about the manuscript - but how they contributed to the story itself. Thank you Graham.

*****
Just finished your draft of Dispelling The Clouds. Congratulations!
Well done!!! This is my formal review:
“In Dispelling The Clouds, Wilma insightfully describes her lifelong experimentation with practical applications of the baggage-filled concept of forgiveness.
Through the lens of someone losing a much-loved child to murder, she explores a variety of ways to come to terms with unspeakable tragedy - not letting the dark clouds of anger, guilt and despair prevail.
  This book provides a courageous personal exposition of Canada’s justice process. It has the potential of leading to much greater understandings of victim needs, and should be required reading for all those with the ability to effect positive change in the way criminal justice resources are allocated in Canada.
   Taken to heart, these concepts and their practical applications will lead to a huge improvement in the care of crime victims, and the overall health of our communities.”

****

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Experiment - 8

6/20/2020

Sacred and Real

Another review
*****
Thank-you for allowing me to read your book. I loved the preface
  and it stuck with me.
I think its because the idea of living a life as an experiment has
  such a feeling of grace about it. I love the idea it feels like freedom.
   I also like the imagery and the reality of how you described the dark presence and the choices you made to live apart from it.
   I loved how you used emotional weather. the weather reflecting your perception and the events of your life and spiritual dimension. I really like how you DON'T give a prescription for forgiveness, tragedy and pain.
   i know you mention the elements but I don't think I find those prescriptive i think they are more like guide posts.
I have never dealt with the justice system so i'm coming to this book with that background. I think what i get from this is that justice is a messy business. our justice system is broken but there are people that are working towards better things in that arena. Honoring each others journeys are important.
   I really find it encouraging to see how God has moved in your life through what you have written here.
  Candace House feels like a church. a non religious one. what I mean by that is that it seems like a haven, a safe place for the raw, broken-hearted and vulnerable. A place of caring for people, which from what i understand, was Candace's heart.
  I call that sacred and I call that real church.
  I think you have not only walked the messy, risky way of forgiveness -   I think you have learned how to be victorious in it.

****
Thank you! E. Your words are precious to me. If anyone - you know how to do church.

“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.” – Stephen King