Sept. 24 webinar: Wilma Derksen's experiment in forgivenessMeet Winnipeg author at free CCCA webinar - Thursday, September 24, 2020, noon CT
Wilma Derksen is known across North America for her work addressing the needs of victims and offenders and promoting the issue of restorative justice. She is also known for living an experiment in forgiveness following the 1985 murder of her daughter.
A person of faith, when she was faced with the haunting presence of an overwhelming desire for revenge Wilma dared to choose a counter-intuitive way of dealing with it: Forgive. When her controversial choice hit the headlines, she was forced to defend it, redefine it, explore it, experiment with it, live it, fight with it and eventually accept it.
Wilma has just published a new book about her journey titled Dispelling the Clouds. A Desperate Social Experiment. Join Wilma on Sept. 24, noon CT (1 PM ET) to hear her talk about her new book, her journey of forgiveness, the media response and reaction to her decision, and how communicators can be sensitive when telling the stories of people who have survived trauma.
Zoom Meeting: https://theefc.zoom.us/j/93424670907?pwd=MUhKdFRLQ3p6MWdoSVRZN05iaWZvQT09
Meeting ID: 934 2467 0907
Passcode: 02499

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    After the murder of our daughter, we both encountered 15 stalking shapeshifting trauma clouds, but he is only going to display 6 of his sculptures, which we are calling the King David series. While I studied psychology – Cliff studied theology, so it should come as no surprise that he worked out his emotional trauma through one of the greatest heroes in the Bible.
      The first sculpture Cliff made was of David stalking Bathsheba bathing in the privacy of her own courtyard. This sculpture was created during the trial when he realized Candace was being stalked. With horror, Cliff realized that his hero – the man after God’s own heart – had also stalked a woman and even killed her husband. Except that the sculpture doesn’t look at all like a king, it is a man’s body with a fox head, entitled Foxy David, with a telescope - a sly, dirty, stalking David.
      And when Cliff started to understand the evil intentions exhibited during the trial, – out came King Saul – David’s mortal enemy. But this King Saul appears as a stalking Werewolf, right next to his Throne of Swords. The fierceness of the two sculptures is a little surprising when one realizes that the sculptor is truly a peace-loving Mennonite at heart.
     I write about all of this in my book. The story in my book tells of how a film crew came from Ottawa wanting to interview me about my fifteen elements and see Cliff’s 15 sculptures. Having no place to show his sculptures, we took the crew around the city – in a kind of one day pop up art show. The pictures of this tour are amazing. So we just kind of took those pictures and compiled a gallery booklet that will also be available at the book launch on Monday.
     Why are we doing this?
     I don’t know.
​      Perhaps in hindsight, we are just fascinated with our shapeshifting lives….   

"Something was on our bed….We didn’t have words for it.
It was moving, writhing – defying us.
Cliff saw a reptilian image with a circling tail. The eyes were hooded – a lazy serpent stare…lifeless.
I saw it more as a voracious, wolf-like dog – snarling, fierce and otherworldly. I have a latent fear of dogs and this resembled my worst nightmare.
        The presence was shapeshifting before our very eyes….
      We both knew it was a figment of our imaginations. It was as if our fears were appearing before our very eyes in this mysterious form, glaring at us from our own bed – a ghostly omen from the dark side.
        It wasn’t real.
     Yet, it was real. We both saw something on our bed – a black mirage, a cloud of something that hovered like a dark presence, with magical abilities to change into the shape of whatever we feared the most."

What is this book about?
        It’s about the thing on our bed.
      Actually, there are four themes in the book – the cloud, a notorious criminal, restorative justice and the murder of Candace that led to the Candace House.  
      The main conflict is my relationship with this cloud that plays itself out in my relationship with a notorious criminal.
      The underlying stories are the birth story of restorative justice, the birth story of Candace House, and the birth story of my work with victims of serious crime and eventually with the justice system.
        In reality it is just a story of my life – displayed – without any intention but to tell my truth.
Why did I write it?
      If I had been given a life choice, I wouldn’t have written four of the six books I have written. I wrote these four because my daughter was murdered and I was reluctantly put on the stage of life - and my audience keeps asking me these questions. When I was a little girl, I was taught that if people ask you questions about your life, "we need to let our light shine and answer them."  I’m not sure about the light – but I do try to answer the questions I am asked – and that’s why the books.
        Yet no one asks about the other two books that I have written that were such a delight.  They came to me – easily. They are the AVA series, about my grandmother. (sigh)
        But given the circumstances of my life, I’m glad I chose very early to develop my writing skills because the actual writing of the books has been therapeutic!
        Writing is a way of drilling down into my emotional pain and find healing.
My next book?
          Something about my emerging passion – to inspire everyone to write their life story and discover the healing.
  

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” — Natalie Goldberg
 

 All day - Open House - Come and Go.

• First Reading 10:00 am
• Second Reading 3:00 pm
• Third Reading 7:00 pm

Address: 26 Grimston Road
                                               Garden Art Gallery by sculptor: Cliff Derksen
                                                      Price of book $10.00
Masks are highly recommended and we will be practicing social distancing!  Masks will be provided.
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       Why have a book launch?
       It’s a question I’m asking myself.
     Most would think it's to sell books. It’s certainly not to make money – at $10.00 I’m practically giving the books away. And why go through with it now – when COVID has made launches socially unacceptable -  at least according to the local bookstores?
      So why am I doing this?  
     I think it is because I need a deadline. Most writers need deadlines – especially with books that take years to write. This one took me about four years which can feel like an eternity at times. Not only to me, but those around me who want to remain supportive.
       I have a few dedicated supporters in my life who follow the process carefully. I will tell them with great satisfaction, “I’m finished. It’s out of my head and I’m taking a break.”
        “Oh good, can I read it?” they ask politely.
        At which point, I recoil in horror. “Oh no, I've only finished the first draft.”
        By the time I’m into the 15th draft, they become skeptical it will ever be finished.
       A book launch signals the “final finish!” They can now read it! So mainly this book launch is to prove that there truly was a book in the making,
      It’s also a time to thank everyone who was part of the writing process. It actually takes a community to write a book.  There are many unseen listeners, editors, and encouragers. Oh those dear encouragers who say the right thing.  They are invaluable!
         Oh yes – we also need the critics, the editors, and those who are part of the process and don’t even know it.   When writing a book everyone is a potential source of a new angle, a new insight, a new tension, a new thought, or a memory -  all of which are so important.
        Finally, It also serves as a beginning – of the next book. I once heard a writer describe this transition from the end of one book to the next. He said, “When I want to talk about the book I’m writing, no one is interested. When it comes out – everyone else wants to talk about it, and I’m on to my next book.”
          A book launch – can serve as a convergence of these two conversations. 
​          Actually - It's all in search of the conversation!
           And I'm hoping this book will lead us into yet another - much needed - conversation.

​
 ​Book Review by Wayne Northey
​
 Dispelling The Clouds by Wilma Derksen
     When Wilma asked that I be a pre-publication reader of her new book, I felt honoured. When I sent her a quick email upon completion of reading it (at 2:00 a.m.!), I ended with a single word: Wow!
     To unpack: Wilma is a captivating storyteller. Not only is she great at this craft, she uses an economy of words that invariably are apt and keep the story crisply moving. Though one is often compelled to pause and linger. She is also a gifted writer who engages her readership as if you are listening to her in a small circle of intimate friends. She has honed her writing craft over many years and books, not to mention a long career as a journalist. In many ways her writing matches her proficiency at presenting to a wide array of those impacted by crime, an equally practised oral skill set over decades before many audiences. “Those impacted” are easily categorized as: “those harmed by crime”—preferable to “victims” in pointedly putting the entire onus on the perpetrator; “those who harmed others”—preferable to “offenders” since in our multivarious humanity we are never reducible to a singular act or label; and “wider community” immediately impacted by crime—and by extension all society.
     In our last visit I was delighted to hear that celebrated author Malcolm Gladwell had returned to Christian faith due in part to his researching her story for his book: David and Goliath. This highlights Wilma’s utter authenticity. My first encountering Wilma three decades ago was in that way uncomfortably challenging: how can an offender-oriented prison worker really get it about serious and lethal harm done to a family member? And how can a Restorative Justice worker really get it that forgiveness is the F-word when initiated not invited. Short answers: He can’t! But one can listen, and hopefully work at learning to change . . .
     Wilma’s first book about her daughter’s murder was: Have You Seen Candace? The subtitle was arresting: A True Story of Faith and Forgiveness. There was that F-word right out there! In that book and again in this, the reader will learn how she and her husband Cliff took on the mantle of that excruciating, elusive affirmation: I am going to forgive/I have forgiven. Wow!--for many the reaction in first hearing her story; the reaction ever since by so many—and me. Wow!
     Well, except initially and at other times for the exclusive community she and family were brutally thrust into: those who had lost a family member to murder. Wilma’s referencing repeatedly this group is invariably and artfully empathetic.
     In this book, Wilma writes: “I was living an experiment."
     “Consciously or unconsciously, it was just an experiment…motivated by desperation.”
   So the reader is drawn to wade in . . . to the uncertain waters of a life course with a chosen lode star named forgiveness. But what does it mean? And how navigated?
     Well, the reader follows Wilma with her family guided by that at times barely twinkling celestial orb. The reader is in for a ride; once heartily having climbed on board. We are in turn directed by those guided by the lode star forgiveness. A journey, a star—at our great peril possibly—not to be missed! Else in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s words, we might bitterly too late discover there is no future--for you, for me, for everyone!—without forgiveness.
The chapter titles of this two-part voyage are likewise sparse: often one, no more than two words. They invite and entice . . . one to perhaps like me stay up to all hours to experience somewhat--at least try!—the expedition! For Wilma offers something emotionally palpable, that if allowed, journeys us along towards an uncertain, complicated, unknowing but deeply rewarding destination. She in fact directs us towards home.
     Along this journey one finds multiple pearls of wisdom forged like in the oyster, through great trauma and hardship. They are freely accessible however again and again. The reader will doubtless select a necklace of wisdom gems different from mine: multiply offered, arrestingly impactful.
     Wilma also sustains use of metaphors throughout: shapeshifting monsters; stormy clouds (whence the title); “entirely different” life path chosen from many murdered children’s family.
     As in all Wilma’s books and presentations read and heard, Wilma’s faith is persistent backdrop that infuses the journey. But for those without faith, it is not presumptuous nor imposed.
     Evoking Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”, her closing words are (italics added):
I guess the question now is: Could Cliff and I have been as fulfilled and creative at the end of our lives—where we find ourselves now—if we hadn’t forgiven?
     I don’t think so. At the bedroom door, when we saw that dark, frightening presence on our bed—we chose the word forgiveness.
     And I do believe it has made all the difference.
     In conclusion: “It was just an experiment…” Wow! 
​                                                                                              ***** 

​
Another Review:

*****
​
 Suzie writes:
         Before I write  about the book, Dispelling the Clouds, I would like to say a few things about Candace and what she meant to me.
Candace imprinted on my soul. Time before there was tragedy, I was one of many kids as you describe, who she engaged, on her own initiative to lead, to play with, to pay attention to and love. When you are a younger girl, winning the attention of an older girl is akin to winning the lottery. There is no greater achievement at that stage of life. Candace accepted this misfit with ease, integrity and without any positioning or arrogance. It was natural to her and she seemed indifferent to our differences.
       As an adopted, mixed race kid in the late 70s and 80s, who was racially discriminated against, sometimes violently, moved to different several schools in various countries with an accent; everything I did was about trying to fit in. The weekend we went to camp, the trepidation I had dissipated the instant I was introduced to Candace. Her genuine acceptance of me without a second thought was so off putting that I think I didn’t speak for hours. I just followed her around in wonder. Plus, she had the inside track at camp which involved access to the tuck shop.
                                                              *****
         Ever after that weekend, she was famous to me. Not as famous as she would become.
​
                                                               *****

        ... The dry honesty in your book in processing murder, dealing with committees, support groups, Rene, lifers and all the weight of what that entails, is greatly appreciated. It’s valuable to see that this path is not straight, easy or automatic....  
         Your form of continuously working through forgiveness in action provides a mandate for others to begin a journey of forgiveness. As a journey based on what you have described, I think you achieve a goal, which I am not sure if it was intentionally or not, yet in walking this journey with you in the book, it creates a pathway for others to begin without having to relinquish the need for justice and punishment. These sides of a tragedy and trauma with forgiveness and justice do not become mutually exclusive or sort of a fiat accompli. There is a fear in forgiveness that somehow by forgiving there is a giving up of justice or our sense of what is right. I really think an eye for an eye is much more understandable or rational for us as humans. Forgiveness, I think is counter-intuitive which is what makes your book so important.....
           Similar to the process of grief, I identify with the anger in the members of the support group; the fear in their path to finding a dawn in the fog of trauma.....
          Rene along with his story is such an essential and critical theme in your book. I was quite captivated by his career in bank heists; he is the real live legend of movies, really. Yet to find the real truth is much more devastating than what we know at the beginning, and to find in the end, that his story starts as a victim is really heartbreaking. The first time I read this book, when it becomes clear his journey starts as a victim, I had to put the book down and walk away; just the horror of it all. A seven-year-old victim of assault and rape....
       .....I loved your book.

     WhenI asked the Beta readers questions: 
     Here is how one responded.

                                                               *****

​What have you learned? 
      There is hope in every storm. No matter the intensity of the assaults on one’s life and family, there is hope.
      Pain doesn’t go away in a vacuum…healing can be enhanced by involvement – a sort of stretching of the tight muscles, taking (or accepting) nourishment to balance depleted stores of spiritual, emotional, physical energy.
     What is your overall understanding of the manuscript? What am I saying?
           There’s no such thing as an easy answer for the agonizing pain inflicted on all  the victims of a violent crime.
         Even though a wounded person needs certain time for solitude, there’s a huge need to be part of the larger community. It is bound to be uncomfortable, even painful, but like getting back on a bicycle after a tumble, the choice to trust the community again can’t happen unless one “gets on the bike.”
       The sense of being part of a story much bigger than your own is almost tangible, Wilma. That connectedness is evident in your speaking, writing, advocating, challenging and loving!
         Would you recommend this to a friend?
         Absolutely!
        Would you like to include a review that I could use?
           Wilma Derksen found herself sucked into the vortex of a fierce storm. Suddenly the accomplished journalist was living a story no one wants to live. Instead of observing news events and reporting them to others, she and her family, Cliff, Odia and Syras, were blown into the spotlight.
            Rather than retreat, the Derksens faced the clouds and the cold, the relentless forces of public scrutiny, the suspicions and the insinuations, as well as their own fears, until they began to dissipate.
            Cliff and Wilma’s conscious choice of forgiveness began to show itself a permeating peace. Others, too, have their storms. Wilma’s determination not to let Candace’s death be an end continues to affect others caught in stormy times.
            I felt the cold dissipate as I read of Wilma’s passion to find ways of reaching out. “Love breaks social barriers with practical help.”
            
​ (Former President of the Christian Writers Manitoba Association.)

       Another Review:
                                           *****
​         Thank you so much for the privilege of reading Dispelling the Clouds.
      What a wonderful gift you have so generously offered and continue to offer us who have been involved in the restorative justice community. Your willingness to both live with and articulate the hard questions of addressing and responding to the needs of those who have been impacted by crime and those who have been the instigators of crime has certainly propelled me in the work that I have engaged in , to ask different questions. You have been a role model and an inspiration.
      It does not seem that long ago, now nearly a year, since you and Rene and Randy and I had dinner together in Winnipeg. The opportunity to sit with both you and Rene and later to see Candace House in person, were very much in my mind as I  read through the book.
         As always, all of my encounters with you either in person or via written word have been life changing.
          Wilma. I am looking forward to being able to share Dispelling The Clouds once it is in print for the public!
​                                                                                                                     
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