Why did I write this book, "Dispelling the Clouds?"

"Something was on our bed….We didn’t have words for it.
It was moving, writhing – defying us.
Cliff saw a reptilian image with a circling tail. The eyes were hooded – a lazy serpent stare…lifeless.
I saw it more as a voracious, wolf-like dog – snarling, fierce and otherworldly. I have a latent fear of dogs and this resembled my worst nightmare.
The presence was shapeshifting before our very eyes….
We both knew it was a figment of our imaginations. It was as if our fears were appearing before our very eyes in this mysterious form, glaring at us from our own bed – a ghostly omen from the dark side.
It wasn’t real.
Yet, it was real. We both saw something on our bed – a black mirage, a cloud of something that hovered like a dark presence, with magical abilities to change into the shape of whatever we feared the most."
It was moving, writhing – defying us.
Cliff saw a reptilian image with a circling tail. The eyes were hooded – a lazy serpent stare…lifeless.
I saw it more as a voracious, wolf-like dog – snarling, fierce and otherworldly. I have a latent fear of dogs and this resembled my worst nightmare.
The presence was shapeshifting before our very eyes….
We both knew it was a figment of our imaginations. It was as if our fears were appearing before our very eyes in this mysterious form, glaring at us from our own bed – a ghostly omen from the dark side.
It wasn’t real.
Yet, it was real. We both saw something on our bed – a black mirage, a cloud of something that hovered like a dark presence, with magical abilities to change into the shape of whatever we feared the most."
What is this book about?
It’s about the thing on our bed.
Actually, there are four themes in the book – the cloud, a notorious criminal, restorative justice and the murder of Candace that led to the Candace House.
The main conflict is my relationship with this cloud that plays itself out in my relationship with a notorious criminal.
The underlying stories are the birth story of restorative justice, the birth story of Candace House, and the birth story of my work with victims of serious crime and eventually with the justice system.
In reality it is just a story of my life – displayed – without any intention but to tell my truth.
Why did I write it?
If I had been given a life choice, I wouldn’t have written four of the six books I have written. I wrote these four because my daughter was murdered and I was reluctantly put on the stage of life - and my audience keeps asking me these questions. When I was a little girl, I was taught that if people ask you questions about your life, "we need to let our light shine and answer them." I’m not sure about the light – but I do try to answer the questions I am asked – and that’s why the books.
Yet no one asks about the other two books that I have written that were such a delight. They came to me – easily. They are the AVA series, about my grandmother. (sigh)
But given the circumstances of my life, I’m glad I chose very early to develop my writing skills because the actual writing of the books has been therapeutic!
Writing is a way of drilling down into my emotional pain and find healing.
My next book?
Something about my emerging passion – to inspire everyone to write their life story and discover the healing.
It’s about the thing on our bed.
Actually, there are four themes in the book – the cloud, a notorious criminal, restorative justice and the murder of Candace that led to the Candace House.
The main conflict is my relationship with this cloud that plays itself out in my relationship with a notorious criminal.
The underlying stories are the birth story of restorative justice, the birth story of Candace House, and the birth story of my work with victims of serious crime and eventually with the justice system.
In reality it is just a story of my life – displayed – without any intention but to tell my truth.
Why did I write it?
If I had been given a life choice, I wouldn’t have written four of the six books I have written. I wrote these four because my daughter was murdered and I was reluctantly put on the stage of life - and my audience keeps asking me these questions. When I was a little girl, I was taught that if people ask you questions about your life, "we need to let our light shine and answer them." I’m not sure about the light – but I do try to answer the questions I am asked – and that’s why the books.
Yet no one asks about the other two books that I have written that were such a delight. They came to me – easily. They are the AVA series, about my grandmother. (sigh)
But given the circumstances of my life, I’m glad I chose very early to develop my writing skills because the actual writing of the books has been therapeutic!
Writing is a way of drilling down into my emotional pain and find healing.
My next book?
Something about my emerging passion – to inspire everyone to write their life story and discover the healing.
“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” — Natalie Goldberg