Wilma Derksen
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Faith - 13

12/29/2018

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The Relationship Factor

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     The paradigm shift for me was all about becoming aware of a new  intimacy with God.
     With this emphasis on the Songs came a new possibility and challenge that we could hope for a closer relationship with our Creator. This was the beginning of my exploration that there is a divine romance laid out in the Songs of Solomon. called the bridal paradigm.
        What this shift meant to me was that God is not only the "judge" of the Old Testament – where he outlines his holiness and the boundaries of his divine nature. God is not only concerned about good and evil.
        It meant that Jesus, God’s son is not only concerned about being the "savior" in the New Testament.  God is not about changing the evil we inhabit into good – as we had experienced with the paradigm of forgiveness.
​          There is "more."
         This bridal paradigm teaching – which is found throughout the Bible if one studies it – is about God’s interest in us and his pursuit of us. It is about the first commandment. Love.
     For me it meant that God wasn’t only interested in the murder and the justice of it. God wasn’t only interested in saving us from trauma – or the perpetrator -  from the consequences of the murder.
      For me, this new insight meant that God was interested in becoming involved  - and having an intimate interest in our lives and most of all, wanting to be included in our conversations. It wasn’t only about finding justice and advocating social justice, It wasn't only about developing an evangelical ministry and saving souls. it was so much "more". It was about relationship.
       There is a danger in this. Often I have found that any connection with an all powerful God is quickly seen as an opportunity to tap into a super  power for one's own self interest. We want a sugar daddy.
       I was tempted.  I wanted some of that power to enhance my own life.  I immediately wanted more money, more influence, and healing powers.  The most exciting thought was that this could also lead to knowing the future – becoming prophetic. Imagine the comfort, the security, the fame, the power, the excitement of being in relationship with a super power. 
      Around this time, my son was studying psychology and was teaching us about the healing power of connection. I was incorporating this into my work with crime victims, realizing that even more important than justice – was the need to be heard, valued and what was called “to be known”.
       This is what the bridal paradigm offered.  God could know us.
      Later, when I studied coaching and became a certified executive coach, I realized that what I needed from God was a coaching relationship – not a sugar daddy relationship.
   First big learning was that whenever I was in “sugar daddy” mode, the heavens closed. There was no communication.  The bridegroom would not engage.
        Apparently God doesn't want us to change - become little-god like characters - with super powers.
        He loves who we are - and just wants to enhance us. 
     In fact the more I was in touch with myself -  humble, desperate and real, - and then reached out for an honest conversation about my life, I was astounded at how near God could be.
             I was astounded at the conversations I could have.
        
 One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.  - Linda Lambert    


           

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