#2 -Ten Steps

 The word is “Stuck”

I think it was almost two decades after Candace had been found murdered that I finally had access to a brilliant psychologist free of charge.

Both Cliff and I had never sought professional help.- actually, the thought had never entered our minds. At the time - we didn’t have the money, the time, the opportunity, nor the inclination.  We assumed it was something reserved for the elite or those with serious mental illness. 

So, I asked this psychologist, "When should a person experiencing traumatic loss seek help?"

His answer was simple. "When they are stuck."

Stuck?

“Are we stuck? Have we ever been stuck?”  I wondered aloud.

Together we went through a short analysis of our lives. Apparently – “No.” – at least not seriously.
I decided right then and there that if we could do it – escape the “stuckness” of trauma - anyone could do it. Perhaps I did have an answer – I concluded. At least I had a life time of experience to draw on.

I remembered this conclusion again while listening to the latest feedback - and again heard that underlying question. “How do you forgive?”  Except this time, it was more personalized. - “How did you do it?”

So now the challenge is for me to remember my own story and make sense of the path of forgiveness I had taken back then and was still taking - and the courage to tell it.

The truth is that I did fall to the bottom of that black pit of hopelessness - the trauma of unforgiveness, Except for me there was a ladder that lead upward to the blue sky of freedom.

 My goal now is to remember, isolate and identify that ten-step process.

“Life is like walking; you take one step at a time.” – Taylor Swift
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