The Bear
I must’ve been in preschool. I was sleeping upstairs in my bedroom, and my two older sisters were gone for the night. I was alone.
In the middle of the night, I woke up sensing that something was in the room. In the very dim light of the full moon, I saw a bear sitting at the top of the stairs—watching me.
Back then, there were frequent sightings of bears in the valley, wandering down from the nearby mountains. My grandfather, who liked to hunt bears, even had a bear rug in their attic—with the head still attached. We cousins would often sneak up there, and the older ones would spook us, pretending to be bears. It was terrifying – even when I knew it wasn’t real….
I lay in bed, frozen, watching the shadow. The shadow was watching me. I was paralyzed with fear for what felt like an eternity. I knew it was waiting for me. The only way to break the moment was to slip out of bed and turn on the light—.
Taking my life into my hands, I scampered across the room and switched on the light. It revealed only a robe, hung over a chair.
I was safe.
That night—and many times since—I learned something important: fear needs to be exposed.
It was a life lesson I carried with me—turn on the light.
My chosen profession, journalism, in many ways, is about just that. When a suspicious threat enters our lives, we need to see it clearly before we can deal with it. Sometimes it’s a bear. Sometimes it’s just a robe.
After my conversation with my daughter about chaos and order, I told others that I was thinking about exploring chaos with my fivefold paradigm. Everyone I told paused, a certain look coming into their eyes as they warned me: “Take care of yourself.”
The presence of the bear was in their eyes.
I understand. It wasn’t as if I haven't been aware of evil. I’ve watched a few horror movies, read C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters, read psychiatrist Scott Peck’s accounts of evil in People of the Lie, and of course, the Bible—filled with stories of demons. I’d even had a few encounters with demons myself - real and fake.
The Bible seems to be the book of authority – starting with Genesis the introduction of evil – and as you know – I’ve been churched to death so you would think I know all about it. But I’ve only looked at it through what I’ve been taught. It’s much different if one decides to analyze it and organize it for oneself.
Having spent the last three years shaping that fivefold structure of forgiveness —writing about it in my new book Impossible, forgiveness to the power of five. (available on Amazon if you’re curious), along with The Way of Letting Go I know forgiveness looks a little different when I see it through my life lens.
And now, seeing the fear again in their eyes, I know there is only one way to deal with anything that stirs fear in us. Shed light on it.
Is it a bear? Is it a lion? Or is it just a figment of my imagination? Either way, a dark shadow can have the same impact as the real thing.
So my new challenge it to put it through my lens. Can evil be organized into five?
Turning on the light – seeing our enemy—and how it works—might even turn the threat into an adventure.
“Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.”—Ray Bradbury
In the middle of the night, I woke up sensing that something was in the room. In the very dim light of the full moon, I saw a bear sitting at the top of the stairs—watching me.
Back then, there were frequent sightings of bears in the valley, wandering down from the nearby mountains. My grandfather, who liked to hunt bears, even had a bear rug in their attic—with the head still attached. We cousins would often sneak up there, and the older ones would spook us, pretending to be bears. It was terrifying – even when I knew it wasn’t real….
I lay in bed, frozen, watching the shadow. The shadow was watching me. I was paralyzed with fear for what felt like an eternity. I knew it was waiting for me. The only way to break the moment was to slip out of bed and turn on the light—.
Taking my life into my hands, I scampered across the room and switched on the light. It revealed only a robe, hung over a chair.
I was safe.
That night—and many times since—I learned something important: fear needs to be exposed.
It was a life lesson I carried with me—turn on the light.
My chosen profession, journalism, in many ways, is about just that. When a suspicious threat enters our lives, we need to see it clearly before we can deal with it. Sometimes it’s a bear. Sometimes it’s just a robe.
After my conversation with my daughter about chaos and order, I told others that I was thinking about exploring chaos with my fivefold paradigm. Everyone I told paused, a certain look coming into their eyes as they warned me: “Take care of yourself.”
The presence of the bear was in their eyes.
I understand. It wasn’t as if I haven't been aware of evil. I’ve watched a few horror movies, read C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters, read psychiatrist Scott Peck’s accounts of evil in People of the Lie, and of course, the Bible—filled with stories of demons. I’d even had a few encounters with demons myself - real and fake.
The Bible seems to be the book of authority – starting with Genesis the introduction of evil – and as you know – I’ve been churched to death so you would think I know all about it. But I’ve only looked at it through what I’ve been taught. It’s much different if one decides to analyze it and organize it for oneself.
Having spent the last three years shaping that fivefold structure of forgiveness —writing about it in my new book Impossible, forgiveness to the power of five. (available on Amazon if you’re curious), along with The Way of Letting Go I know forgiveness looks a little different when I see it through my life lens.
And now, seeing the fear again in their eyes, I know there is only one way to deal with anything that stirs fear in us. Shed light on it.
Is it a bear? Is it a lion? Or is it just a figment of my imagination? Either way, a dark shadow can have the same impact as the real thing.
So my new challenge it to put it through my lens. Can evil be organized into five?
Turning on the light – seeing our enemy—and how it works—might even turn the threat into an adventure.
“Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.”—Ray Bradbury
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