Eyes opened
What happens when you introduce chaos into a perfectly formed body—death happens.
We were created perfect. The human body is described in the Bible as “intricately woven” and “fearfully and wonderfully made.” These phrases emphasize the intentional and detailed craftsmanship of our design—from conception in the womb to the uniqueness of every part of our structure.
Introducing imperfection into something perfect fundamentally changes its nature—it becomes imperfect. Sudden imperfection introduces vulnerability and the potential for failure. Just as one flawed component in a perfect machine can cause a breakdown, so too can a single act or infection bring disorder to the human body.
We see this immediately in the biblical account. Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened—and they were afraid. They suddenly became aware of their mortality. They knew they were facing death.
It’s hard enough to face death at any age—but to face it in that moment?
Trauma.
In today’s world, death anxiety is a common part of the human experience. Thoughts of death can trigger fear—fear of separation, loss, pain, suffering, and the ache of leaving loved ones behind. This anxiety, though deeply uncomfortable, is a near-universal aspect of our awareness.
As we know, trauma responses include fight, flight, freeze, and more. Adam and Eve's first reaction was flight—they hid from God.
Flight is often instinctive. It can feel like an overwhelming need to escape. A strong flight response may even escalate into a panic attack or, in some cases, trigger physical reactions like asthma attacks.
“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.”
Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid.”
(Genesis 3:8–10)
Fear. Hiding. Disconnection. These were the first fruits of chaos introduced into a perfect body.
“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”--Leonardo da Vinci
Just a quick Personal Update
Life is never perfect—but in spite of everything we had gone through we were in a good place. Cliff and I had landed on our feet. The family was doing well. We were even having a phoenix party in our backyard. It felt good.
That’s when I noticed the tremor in my hands—just a slight tremor, I was reminded of my mother. She had Parkinson’s. My aunt had Parkinson’s. I think my aunt had a noticeable tremor as long as I can remember. I grew up surrounded by it. So, when I saw that tremor, I just knew.
But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. I ignored it.
A few months later—still having said nothing—Cliff was diagnosed with cancer. And I put everything on hold. After he was gone, I finally went to get diagnosed.
The doctor told me: I had Parkinson’s. I also had type 2 diabetes and fatty liver disease. None of it was immediately life-threatening, but it was all serious—and all manageable. So, I told myself I’d just keep going.
There’s a stigma attached to the Parkinson's disease—a stigma - at least for me. It feels weak. It trembles. It leads to a slow decline.
I hate that slow decline.
I always said I’d rather have a quick decline. Cliff had the perfect death. He was diagnosed, and within three or four months, he was gone. Peacefully.
I miss him terribly.
I have with my daughter's help dealt with my diabetes and liver -- so I am doing good.
That’s how I came to be where I am now. I am now accepting the fact that I have Parkinson's - stigma and all...
I have so much to be grateful for - I don't have much of a tremor -- I haven't fallen - and I have a beautiful supportive family - all have been there for me. And I have these wonderful friends who bring me flowers - send me cards - and visit me in Winkler.
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. - Victor Kam
We were created perfect. The human body is described in the Bible as “intricately woven” and “fearfully and wonderfully made.” These phrases emphasize the intentional and detailed craftsmanship of our design—from conception in the womb to the uniqueness of every part of our structure.
Introducing imperfection into something perfect fundamentally changes its nature—it becomes imperfect. Sudden imperfection introduces vulnerability and the potential for failure. Just as one flawed component in a perfect machine can cause a breakdown, so too can a single act or infection bring disorder to the human body.
We see this immediately in the biblical account. Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened—and they were afraid. They suddenly became aware of their mortality. They knew they were facing death.
It’s hard enough to face death at any age—but to face it in that moment?
Trauma.
In today’s world, death anxiety is a common part of the human experience. Thoughts of death can trigger fear—fear of separation, loss, pain, suffering, and the ache of leaving loved ones behind. This anxiety, though deeply uncomfortable, is a near-universal aspect of our awareness.
As we know, trauma responses include fight, flight, freeze, and more. Adam and Eve's first reaction was flight—they hid from God.
Flight is often instinctive. It can feel like an overwhelming need to escape. A strong flight response may even escalate into a panic attack or, in some cases, trigger physical reactions like asthma attacks.
“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.”
Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid.”
(Genesis 3:8–10)
Fear. Hiding. Disconnection. These were the first fruits of chaos introduced into a perfect body.
“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”--Leonardo da Vinci
Just a quick Personal Update
Life is never perfect—but in spite of everything we had gone through we were in a good place. Cliff and I had landed on our feet. The family was doing well. We were even having a phoenix party in our backyard. It felt good.
That’s when I noticed the tremor in my hands—just a slight tremor, I was reminded of my mother. She had Parkinson’s. My aunt had Parkinson’s. I think my aunt had a noticeable tremor as long as I can remember. I grew up surrounded by it. So, when I saw that tremor, I just knew.
But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. I ignored it.
A few months later—still having said nothing—Cliff was diagnosed with cancer. And I put everything on hold. After he was gone, I finally went to get diagnosed.
The doctor told me: I had Parkinson’s. I also had type 2 diabetes and fatty liver disease. None of it was immediately life-threatening, but it was all serious—and all manageable. So, I told myself I’d just keep going.
There’s a stigma attached to the Parkinson's disease—a stigma - at least for me. It feels weak. It trembles. It leads to a slow decline.
I hate that slow decline.
I always said I’d rather have a quick decline. Cliff had the perfect death. He was diagnosed, and within three or four months, he was gone. Peacefully.
I miss him terribly.
I have with my daughter's help dealt with my diabetes and liver -- so I am doing good.
That’s how I came to be where I am now. I am now accepting the fact that I have Parkinson's - stigma and all...
I have so much to be grateful for - I don't have much of a tremor -- I haven't fallen - and I have a beautiful supportive family - all have been there for me. And I have these wonderful friends who bring me flowers - send me cards - and visit me in Winkler.
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. - Victor Kam
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