Out of Sight, Out of Mind
I still remember the day a good friend asked me what it would take for me to feel justice had been done. Without hesitation, I said, “ It wouldn't be enough for the murderer to die - ten child murderers would have to die—and I would have to pull the trigger.”
I’ve told that story countless times. And I have to admit—I still get a certain grim satisfaction from telling it.
Then I realized that underneath that satisfaction... I’ve just turned into a murderer - like Cain.
Can this truly be the root face of a Collective evil? Murder?
Let's unpack this a bit more....
There’s an old proverb that says it best and we say it quite glibly. “Out of sight, out of mind.” This reflect that basic belief that it’s easier to stop caring about someone—or something—once we no longer see them.
When we’ve been victimized, when grief overwhelms and the pain becomes unbearable.
When death stalks us. Truth becomes distorted. Lies swirl. Trust shatters and even God feels distant—or absent altogether. When the Serpent's lies continue to haunt us and turn our worlds into chaos. When our trauma grows unmanageable, it can begin to feel like that invisible elephant in the room.
Pierre Trudeau once said, “ it's like sleeping with an elephant - one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”
In this confusion, all we do is want to regain control— this is where we might quietly embrace that simple proverb: out of sight, out of mind which leads us to a dangerous conclusion: identify the source—and eliminate it.
Elimination comes in many forms. Cancel it. Avoid it. Escape it. Destroy it. Kill it.
Silence the threat, restore the border, regain control.
We rage war. On the news every night there are reports of another killing. It's usually men involved. One could conclude.. “Men, - always killing each other.”
We, women don't kill.... or do we? When something threatens our peace from within—like an unplanned pregnancy, a child on the way that could disrupt everything? We may choose to abort.
We do justice by arresting and throwing the unwanted into jail. We give life sentences to the violent. In some countries - we execute. We bully....
And then there are quieter forms of killing: Divorce. Ghosting. Firing. Slandering. These aren't murder we say - no one is physically killed.....
But then Jesus raised the standards. In the Sermon on the Mount, he redefined the commandment “You shall not murder” to include all expressions of hatred, saying that harsh words and unexpressed anger are precursors to the same sin. Calling someone “Raka”—empty-headed, foolish—was not just rude, but has murderous intent and consequences. Today, we have other words: “Stupid.” “Loser.” Casual curses with killing power.
And so here we are—each of us with an elephant inside, twitching in pain - resorting to murder.
“The world says: ‘You have needs—satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don’t hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.’ This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result—for the rich—is isolation and suicide; for the poor, envy and murder.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I’ve told that story countless times. And I have to admit—I still get a certain grim satisfaction from telling it.
Then I realized that underneath that satisfaction... I’ve just turned into a murderer - like Cain.
Can this truly be the root face of a Collective evil? Murder?
Let's unpack this a bit more....
There’s an old proverb that says it best and we say it quite glibly. “Out of sight, out of mind.” This reflect that basic belief that it’s easier to stop caring about someone—or something—once we no longer see them.
When we’ve been victimized, when grief overwhelms and the pain becomes unbearable.
When death stalks us. Truth becomes distorted. Lies swirl. Trust shatters and even God feels distant—or absent altogether. When the Serpent's lies continue to haunt us and turn our worlds into chaos. When our trauma grows unmanageable, it can begin to feel like that invisible elephant in the room.
Pierre Trudeau once said, “ it's like sleeping with an elephant - one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”
In this confusion, all we do is want to regain control— this is where we might quietly embrace that simple proverb: out of sight, out of mind which leads us to a dangerous conclusion: identify the source—and eliminate it.
Elimination comes in many forms. Cancel it. Avoid it. Escape it. Destroy it. Kill it.
Silence the threat, restore the border, regain control.
We rage war. On the news every night there are reports of another killing. It's usually men involved. One could conclude.. “Men, - always killing each other.”
We, women don't kill.... or do we? When something threatens our peace from within—like an unplanned pregnancy, a child on the way that could disrupt everything? We may choose to abort.
We do justice by arresting and throwing the unwanted into jail. We give life sentences to the violent. In some countries - we execute. We bully....
And then there are quieter forms of killing: Divorce. Ghosting. Firing. Slandering. These aren't murder we say - no one is physically killed.....
But then Jesus raised the standards. In the Sermon on the Mount, he redefined the commandment “You shall not murder” to include all expressions of hatred, saying that harsh words and unexpressed anger are precursors to the same sin. Calling someone “Raka”—empty-headed, foolish—was not just rude, but has murderous intent and consequences. Today, we have other words: “Stupid.” “Loser.” Casual curses with killing power.
And so here we are—each of us with an elephant inside, twitching in pain - resorting to murder.
“The world says: ‘You have needs—satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don’t hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.’ This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result—for the rich—is isolation and suicide; for the poor, envy and murder.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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