Loneliness
I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get them to fall in love…
After my first romance novel – I was ready to enjoy another fantasy and write another romance. Creating my own romance novel is like feeling like an all-powerful creator God – I have control or so I thought.
My first romance was based on my grandmother’s life. So, for my second romance, I wanted to do the same. I remembered how my grandmother used to describe her life in the Kuban colony where her father was a mayor of one of the Mennonite villages. She, would describe how Russian officers would often visit their home, and when she did she always had a dangerous twinkle in her eye.
Can you imagine the allure of a romance novel in which: a young Mennonite woman and a Russian officer fall deeply in love - drawn together across deep cultural and ideological divides.
I had no trouble creating immediate attraction – she looked like a Marilyn Munroe – he a Rock Hudson. I could get them to kiss – to be physically drawn to each other – but after that I could not get them to commit to each other. It was the oddest thing. I was in control of the plot but I couldn’t get them to realistically fall into that deep love needed in a marriage—at least not the kind of love I was hoping for. And that’s when I realized how complicated true love really is – we have to get it right.
A US news report the other day cited new statistics revealing a nation suffering from a deep foundational rift – the break up of the family - the break up of marriages. More children than ever before have no fathers and are exhibiting deep emotional wounds. The unraveling of the family will have dire consequences, the researchers concluded – even for the entire nation.
I used to think that the Serpent lie in Eden—that deception—was just a manipulative trick. But now I believe it was far more than that - something directly aimed at the first beautiful relationship. The human heart was fractured.
My romance writing has taught me again that: the so-called “battle of the sexes” is not easily overcome. At times it feels impossible.
Yet for us to thrive, as a people we still need to live together in peace—recognizing each other’s equal worth. And that takes commitment. What does that look like?
We know what it doesn’t look like: divorce, dysfunction, chaos, and broken children. Children need both the strength and expectation of a father and the tender love and acceptance of a mother—or vice versa. They need both to be present. Without that, we raise deeply wounded children. This evil—the unraveling of the family—is enormous.
As someone who has worked with couples, I’ve seen what happens—when betrayal shatters trust, the whole relationship becomes infected. Chaos enters. It becomes a face of evil. And the damage is not just emotional—it affects belief itself. It destroys the ability to trust, and once that’s gone, people are lost in ways that words can hardly describe. The surprise is that research shows that even a "good marriage" or even a "spectacular marriage" has to overcome 69% problems in the relationship.
This is a face of evil – that is threatening out ability to become one – and resulting in an epidemic of loneliness.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother Teresa.
I did write the romance -- Marilyn Munroe and Rock Hudson did fall in love - deeply - but the only way I could get them to fall in love was for me to access the power of forgiveness - another one of my favorite topics....
Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. H. Jackson Brown Jr.
After my first romance novel – I was ready to enjoy another fantasy and write another romance. Creating my own romance novel is like feeling like an all-powerful creator God – I have control or so I thought.
My first romance was based on my grandmother’s life. So, for my second romance, I wanted to do the same. I remembered how my grandmother used to describe her life in the Kuban colony where her father was a mayor of one of the Mennonite villages. She, would describe how Russian officers would often visit their home, and when she did she always had a dangerous twinkle in her eye.
Can you imagine the allure of a romance novel in which: a young Mennonite woman and a Russian officer fall deeply in love - drawn together across deep cultural and ideological divides.
I had no trouble creating immediate attraction – she looked like a Marilyn Munroe – he a Rock Hudson. I could get them to kiss – to be physically drawn to each other – but after that I could not get them to commit to each other. It was the oddest thing. I was in control of the plot but I couldn’t get them to realistically fall into that deep love needed in a marriage—at least not the kind of love I was hoping for. And that’s when I realized how complicated true love really is – we have to get it right.
A US news report the other day cited new statistics revealing a nation suffering from a deep foundational rift – the break up of the family - the break up of marriages. More children than ever before have no fathers and are exhibiting deep emotional wounds. The unraveling of the family will have dire consequences, the researchers concluded – even for the entire nation.
I used to think that the Serpent lie in Eden—that deception—was just a manipulative trick. But now I believe it was far more than that - something directly aimed at the first beautiful relationship. The human heart was fractured.
My romance writing has taught me again that: the so-called “battle of the sexes” is not easily overcome. At times it feels impossible.
Yet for us to thrive, as a people we still need to live together in peace—recognizing each other’s equal worth. And that takes commitment. What does that look like?
We know what it doesn’t look like: divorce, dysfunction, chaos, and broken children. Children need both the strength and expectation of a father and the tender love and acceptance of a mother—or vice versa. They need both to be present. Without that, we raise deeply wounded children. This evil—the unraveling of the family—is enormous.
As someone who has worked with couples, I’ve seen what happens—when betrayal shatters trust, the whole relationship becomes infected. Chaos enters. It becomes a face of evil. And the damage is not just emotional—it affects belief itself. It destroys the ability to trust, and once that’s gone, people are lost in ways that words can hardly describe. The surprise is that research shows that even a "good marriage" or even a "spectacular marriage" has to overcome 69% problems in the relationship.
This is a face of evil – that is threatening out ability to become one – and resulting in an epidemic of loneliness.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother Teresa.
I did write the romance -- Marilyn Munroe and Rock Hudson did fall in love - deeply - but the only way I could get them to fall in love was for me to access the power of forgiveness - another one of my favorite topics....
Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. H. Jackson Brown Jr.
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