Bleeding Hearts
Recently I had a conversation with someone who has shown remarkable resilience..... I asked her how she did it... This was her answer....
"I made a decision early in life. I remember being about fourteen, walking with someone who told me, 'I'm just an angry person. My dad was angry. My grandfather was angry. It’s just who we are. People just have to get used to it.'
Something in me resisted that.
It’s not that I was an angry person—or wasn’t. It’s that I decided at that point not to let any emotion define who I am. That was the turning point for me. I realized: I get to choose.
I get to choose whether I live as a happy person or a sad one.
I get to choose whether anxiety defines me or not.
I get to choose whether I live in contentment or in unrest.
Emotions matter—I don’t dismiss them. They are important. They signal something. They are indicators. But they are not always telling the truth. Sometimes they come from the stories we tell ourselves, not from reality.
So I made a decision early on: I will not let my feelings rule me.
I am not a victim. I choose.
And for me, this way of living is deeply tied to faith.
There were moments—when everything felt fragile. In those moments, I would say, over and over: “God, You are sovereign. I trust You.”
At first, I didn’t even fully believe it. But I kept saying it. I was reminding myself, not informing God. Slowly, it became real to me: if God is sovereign, then He is over this situation too. So I began to ask a different question: “What is wise in this moment?”
That question changed everything. It created a pause—a space between emotion and action. A place where I could choose wisely instead of reacting impulsively.
Looking back, I think I made some of these decisions very early in life. I decided the kind of person I wanted to become. I chose the values I would live by.
Things like:
And they still do.
What a beautiful life....!
There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. - Plato
"I made a decision early in life. I remember being about fourteen, walking with someone who told me, 'I'm just an angry person. My dad was angry. My grandfather was angry. It’s just who we are. People just have to get used to it.'
Something in me resisted that.
It’s not that I was an angry person—or wasn’t. It’s that I decided at that point not to let any emotion define who I am. That was the turning point for me. I realized: I get to choose.
I get to choose whether I live as a happy person or a sad one.
I get to choose whether anxiety defines me or not.
I get to choose whether I live in contentment or in unrest.
Emotions matter—I don’t dismiss them. They are important. They signal something. They are indicators. But they are not always telling the truth. Sometimes they come from the stories we tell ourselves, not from reality.
So I made a decision early on: I will not let my feelings rule me.
I am not a victim. I choose.
And for me, this way of living is deeply tied to faith.
There were moments—when everything felt fragile. In those moments, I would say, over and over: “God, You are sovereign. I trust You.”
At first, I didn’t even fully believe it. But I kept saying it. I was reminding myself, not informing God. Slowly, it became real to me: if God is sovereign, then He is over this situation too. So I began to ask a different question: “What is wise in this moment?”
That question changed everything. It created a pause—a space between emotion and action. A place where I could choose wisely instead of reacting impulsively.
Looking back, I think I made some of these decisions very early in life. I decided the kind of person I wanted to become. I chose the values I would live by.
Things like:
- Surround yourself with people who are an example of what you want to become.
- Pay attention to wisdom.
- Choose your responses, don’t inherit them.
And they still do.
What a beautiful life....!
There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. - Plato
Photo by: Cliff Derksen
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