The fact that I haven't done this - I missed last weekend - is probably some kind of hint.
One would think that since I have taken leave of all my work and other interests that I would have more time now, but it isn't working that way. This is a full time job -- and it is getting more intense.
There is a level of grief - and I can burst into tears at a moment's notice. If anyone peers into my eyes and with great sympathy asks "How are you really doing?" I will burst into tears. Every once in a while when someone describes a plan of theirs - a trip - a moment out -- we remember that we aren't going to be doing anything like that anymore. Instant grief. But that is momentary.
Most of our days, are delightful.
We have no pressure. There are no longer any expectations.
We have freedom to be lazy - watch T.V. , linger over lunch and have long intimate conversations. It is so fun to be together and just watch the Jets -- watch the series that we delight in - and listen to long dry sermons by Les Feldick. We have the time now -- and that is luxury.
I see the cards pile up -- and tell myself there will be time to answer them.. Now we just read them and enjoy them.
The jokes that are coming in regularly bring a smile - a chuckle. They are so precious.
Some friends send a Bible verse every day, a song - and we just enjoy.
Honest - we are thriving on good words and gestures of love.
I have to admit- I didn't expect our lifestyle to change so quickly - so drastically.
We might not have a much quality time as I thought at first... I'm ordering a medical bed next week.
I also didn't expect that these days would be so relaxing.
Today was the best day ever.....
nd only you can determine how it will be spent.
Carl Sandburg