We are waiting.
Someone asked what it was like to be in this waiting mode, "Are we anxious?" and I've been trying to think of an answer ever since.
I think its a bit like watching the governments of the world - just waiting for them to make their decisions - knowing that we have entrusted them with our futures and yet having very little say in what they do in their every day proceedings. We are forced just to watch - knowing that their decisions will eventually affect our lifestyles - if not directly at least somewhat.
But unlike watching some of our more unpredictable leaders and governments of this world wobble and tumble through their terms, this last ruling has heightened our trust in the presiding Judge.
She is not intimidated. She has her own mind - and she will consider all of it.
Often in life we are tempted to make instant decisions and come to easy conclusions before all the evidence is in. We don't like the tension of the waiting. And research shows that we tend to move towards the easier decision - and often the negative rather than the positive outcomes. We judge too hastily.
So if this is correct, I am just glad that the Judge ruled that all of the information gathered throughout the trial is being considered, she is ruling in favor of time.
The odd part of it all, is that even though everyone seems to have heard about the ruling - not everyone has understood it - and I'm not sure I always do so it's been difficult to explain this stage of the trial.
I usually say... "Yes - a momentous decision in the trial has been made. But no - the decision was not whether he was guilty or not. It was merely a decision to not exclude any of the evidence."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Yes - I think it is a very good thing - but it really doesn't tell us a lot - yet. We still have to wait for the closing arguments - May 11 & 12 - and only then will she decide."
"And then? When will you know?"
" Well if the judge is going to take holidays and enjoy Winnipeg's short summer, which she should, she won't start working on it till September. And since she is very deliberate and might need to take a few months to re-orient herself and then write what will surely will turn out to be a book on her findings, (it takes three months to write a book) the verdict might come out end of November," I say.
So much of this trial has paralleled the original timeline. I wonder vaguely if it will be close to the day Candace went missing - November 30, - 33 years ago.
I dismiss the thought. "And then if acquitted, it is over. And if convicted, we are into the sentencing - and then the appeals -- so --"
"It might never end?"
"It's been 33 years - maybe we've just gotten so used to this all - we can't envision an ending."
Oh the horror of it all sinks in....
So we watch it - much like watching the evening news -- watching, waiting - and carrying on.
Right now Cliff and I are frantically preparing for our art show entitled "Freedom: the power of imagination."
It's all so ironic.
“In our ever-changing universe, lives collide, and, like runaway planets, we just keep going.” Michael R. French