I feel I should apologize but then again it's always good to go back to the basics and revisit our world views/God views. Research shows that there is a direct correlation between our world view and our ability to forgive and move on.
If we experience God as a heartless manipulator or a loving Father makes a huge difference as to how we navigate through suffering.
Now back to the question of the astute student of psychology who asked, "And how were you able to pass through the emotional stage so quickly?"
She was referring to the research that has discovered that in order to climb the red stair case from the reptilian brain to the top floor of clarity of thought, the neocortex. one needs emotional stability and connection - love.
In other words where did Cliff and I get our "love" to ward off the trauma.
Father God showed up. I'll never forget, November 30 - the day that Candace disappeared. We were frantic to find her but eventually we had exhausted all leads, the police went home, the telephone stopped ringing - everyone went to sleep ....
In those wee hours of the morning, I was left alone bargaining. I pounded on heaven's door pleading for my daughter. My worst nightmare would be having her held hostage for days and days of abuse - I dared to say. "God take her home, if there is no other alternative." And then felt the regret of those words immediately. Then back to, "Please God I'll do anything - just bring her home."
Suddenly as I begged, I heard the whisper, "I too am a parent of a murdered child...." -- and I remembered the darkness that covered the earth after Christ died on the cross. The darkness said it all. I was feeling that darkness. God the Father understood.
I wasn't alone. We were traveling the darkness together which meant Candace wasn't alone either. We can do anything as long as we aren't alone.
Leaving my fear with the Father, I was able to leave my front door and living room window, and climb the stairs to my warm bed - still waiting - still praying - still being with Candace - but knowing God was there with me and with Candace.
Feeling the support of the Father, I was able to "climb the red stair case" and leave the panic at the front door. It's the power of love.
“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of suffering; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear,.” - John