Since Cliff died I've edited his autobiography blogs and published them in a book "Chasing the Light" launched November 27. Then I fantasized in a daily blog form the Forgiveness Tower - 3 months of it - completing it with a Hallelujah moment.
Since Cliff died, I've travelled! I have cruised on the Caribbean Sea, taken in a Broadway show in New York and tomorrow I travel to the Dominican Republic to stay at an all inclusive for a week - with family.
Meanwhile I've continued to work as a therapist at Oakville Wellness Center, teach my 8-week writing course on Zoom, always enjoying connecting with brilliant gifted writers and doing some consulting as well.
I've even managed to teach a 6 -week course "Grieving Well" as part of the Canadian Mennonite University community courses. I have no idea how to grieve "well" but it was fun to explore grieving with others. I think I used them as a support group.
I've even downsized our house and moved into an apartment with a view of the Red River and the city line.
Oh yes - and I continue to have wonderful conversations with amazing friends and family over coffee or cell phone.
Yet I feel ancient and desperate. I miss Cliff terribly -- all the time.
But I am living out Cliff's example - even in the face of death he lived intentionally.
They say it gets easier.
“The few times, however, that we do obey our severe masters and listen carefully to our restless hearts, we may start to sense that in the midst of our sadness there is joy, that in the midst of our fears there is peace, that in the midst of our greediness there is the possibility of compassion and that indeed in the midst of our irking loneliness we can find the beginnings of a quiet solitude.”― Henri J.M. Nouwen