But there was a time when I was worried sick about the younger ones. What would the trauma do to them? Cliff and I were having enough trouble navigating our way through it. I couldn't imagine being a child and having to deal with the trauma of murder - and knowing that secondary trauma is even harder to recognize and recover from.
When I asked God about how to deal with them and how to raise them, he gave me a vivid image of a Canadian Mother Goose walking across the busy highway with her brood of little ones. She wasn’t behind them, she wasn’t beside them,- she was in front of them leading the way positively and confidently taking on all the risks.
I realized if I was to save my children, I would have to find my own way through first. No wonder I was so desperate and tried so hard. It wasn’t only for myself, it was also for the children.
I might have overdone it. My daughter says that we had trauma discussions at every dinner table, poor things. But they did it - they got through it with their faith intact and lived out their lives with amazing resilience.
But then I noticed an influence on them that caused me concern. They became enamored with a preacher from Kansas City - taking every opportunity to travel down and participate in his ministry.
I was worried. Their devotion to him made me wonder if he was a cult leader so I researched him and found out that his thesis - of all things - was a study on the Songs of Solomon. in fact, he claimed that the Song of Songs was the most important theological book in the Bible. How weird was that? And he was offering a course on it - 21 sessions - each one hour long
So Cliff and I decided that we would take the course. We rented a tiny cabin in Northern Saskatchewan and listened to it all - intently - for a whole week.
We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. - Luciano De Crescenzo