Wilma Derksen
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Primitive

2/2/2023

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I had been dozing on my bed, almost asleep. I was recovering from  a full morning zoom with writers – who I love and adore. It had been intense and now I needed to shift into a new mindset because I had scheduled four clients for the evening - shift gears from writing to therapy.

To help with this, I decided to watch a podcast of my favorite psychologist, Gabor Maté. 

I was almost sleeping when I heard him refer to something he called,  “our reptilian brain.”

Reptilian brain?!!!

I sat up.

Dr. Gabor Maté is a highly sought-after psychologist known for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood – developmental trauma – attachment. 
The podcast I had chosen was on How Emotion affects our cognitive functioning.

After 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience, Dr. Maté had worked for over a decade in Vancouver’s Downtown East Side with patients challenged by drug addiction and mental illness.

I think he became my favorite when he admitted to having ADHD – having been born in stress during the Nazi regime in Germany. I suspect I suffer the same.

Wide awake, I replayed the last few sentences - over and over again.

“The human being has three fundamental ways to respond to the environment.  These follow an evolutionary ladder if you will. Our fundamental, mode – our most primitive one, Is our reptilian one. “

“Primitive!"

Maté was saying we had a primitive reptilian brain!

Somehow, I made it to work on time - listened to my clients intently - then rushed home way past ten o’clock that night and began to research the “reptilian brain.”  

Cliff had called the presence on our bed - "reptilian" - a moment that had marked the beginning of our forgiveness journey.  

Was this the missing piece - the missing explanation for trauma?

“No society can understand itself without looking at its shadow side.” ― Gabor Maté,
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    "W", stands for writing, walking, wondering, wandering, winning, wincing,  and for Wilma,  This is an invitation to come walk, write, wander with me!

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